I got chris browned last night
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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