I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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