I smell stomach acid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
