everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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