I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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