If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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