Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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