dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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