shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
