OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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