He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
