Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
