Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Quick, to the slutcave!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize