I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
