what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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