Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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