is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
