There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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