im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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