When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
