I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
