I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
