his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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