What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
