I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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