She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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