Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
