youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize