Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
