Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
