Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
