I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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