I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
