ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
