all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
