she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
