he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
