I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
