She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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