dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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