I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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