DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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