i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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