Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
