dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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