i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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