Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
