So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
