I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
