it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize