he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
