your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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