I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
