3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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