it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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