when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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