first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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