Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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