It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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