I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
