okay pat passed out under dana's car
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
