I faked an abortion last night.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
